paraphrasing in counselling examples

Paraphrasing in Counselling

Table of Contents

In essence, paraphrasing is a micro skill that allows counselors to create an authentic bond with their clients  Together with encouraging and summarizing, paraphrasing plays a crucial role in therapeutic communication, making the client feel understood and listened to.  In other words, paraphrasing in counseling is what makes the client say, “ Finally, someone who understands what I’m going through.” Without this essential ingredient, counseling sessions would be nothing more than dull and impersonal exchanges of ideas.

What is the difference between reflecting and paraphrasing in Counseling?

Paraphrasing and reflecting are close synonyms for most people, both playing a crucial role in any form of communication.

Although paraphrasing and reflecting are fundamental counseling communication skills [1], these two processes can have slightly different connotations in a therapeutic context.

In essence, reflecting is like putting a mirror in front of your clients, helping them gain a better sense of the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors they experienced in a situation that has meaning for them.

Of course, this does not mean you have to parrot their message; simply highlight the link between different ideas and emotions and how one influences the other.

When reflecting, it is vital to match the client’s tone and even body language so that he/she knows that you’ve received the message and the feelings that accompany his/her story.

On the other hand, paraphrasing is about capturing the essence of their story with a brief statement that emphasizes the underlying emotional vibe.

This technique is particularly useful when clients know how ideas and emotions can merge to create a subjective experience, but you want them to feel understood and listened to.

In a way, we could argue that paraphrasing is a brief version of reflecting.

Let’s look at a brief example of paraphrasing in counseling:

Client: I had a huge fight with Andrew last night. At some point, he stormed out and didn’t come back ‘til morning. I tried calling him all night, but his phone was switched off. I was worried sick and thought he did something stupid. This whole thing was like a nightmare that I could not wake up from.

Therapist : It seems this unpleasant event has put you through a lot of fear and anxiety.

Now let’s take a look at reflecting:

Therapist : I can only imagine how terrifying it must have felt to see your partner storm out after a huge fight without telling you where he is going or when he’ll be back.

As you can see, both processes require active listening. But while paraphrasing is a short statement that highlights the emotional tone of the situation, a reflective response captures “the vibe” of the story, along with other essential details.

How do you paraphrase?

• Start by listening

Whether the purpose is to paraphrase or reflect, listening is always the first step.

Through active listening, counselors gain a better sense of what their clients have experienced in a particular situation. Active listening means looking beyond the surface and trying to connect with the client on an emotional level.

To achieve this level of emotional depth, counselors listen with both their ears and their hearts. That means putting themselves in their clients’ shoes and zeroing in on the emotional aspect of the experience.

• Focus on feelings and thoughts rather than circumstances

When we listen to another person’s story, the most visible aspects are related to the actual events that he or she has gone through.

But details like names, dates, locations, or other circumstantial issues are less relevant than how the person interpreted and consequently felt in a particular situation.

When it comes to paraphrasing, counselors are trained to look beyond circumstances and identify why a client has chosen to talk about a particular event.

In almost every case, the reason is a set of emotional experiences.

• Capture the essence of the message

Although people can experience a wide range of emotions in a given situation or context, there’s always an underlying feeling that defines how they react.

That underlying emotional vibe is the “golden nugget” that counselors are looking to capture and express through paraphrasing.

If done right, paraphrasing in counseling creates an emotional bridge that sets the foundation for authentic and meaningful interactions. This will encourage clients to open up and share their struggles.

• Offer a brief version of what has been said

The last step is providing a concise version that highlights the emotional tone of the story.

Once this message reaches the client, it creates a sense of understanding that builds trust and authentic connection.

Long story short, paraphrasing is a valuable tool for cultivating empathy and facilitating therapeutic change.

How does paraphrasing help in communication?

Cultivating clarity (on both sides).

Any form of communication, whether it’s a therapeutic process, a negotiation, or a casual chat between friends, involves exchanging ideas.

And when people exchange ideas and opinions, there’s always the risk of confusion and misunderstanding.

By paraphrasing what the other person has shared, not only that you cultivate empathy, but you also let him/her know that the message has been received and understood correctly.

Research indicates that paraphrasing in counseling helps clients clarify their issues. [2] The more clients understand the inner-workings of their problems, the better they can adjust their coping strategies.

In a nutshell, paraphrasing eliminates ambiguity and paves the way for clarity.

Facilitating emotional regulation

One of the main functions of paraphrasing is to build empathy between two or more people engaged in conversation.

But the effects of paraphrasing on emotions extend way beyond empathy and understanding.

One study revealed that empathic paraphrasing facilitates extrinsic emotional regulation. [3] People who receive empathy through paraphrasing feel understood, and that prompts them to engage in a more intense emotional regulation process.

What starts as extrinsic emotional regulation slowly becomes intrinsic emotional regulation. This is the reason why someone who’s going through a rough patch can feel better by merely talking to a person who listens in an empathic manner and doesn’t necessarily hand out solutions or practical advice.

Paraphrasing can be a vital skill in heated arguments where two people have opposing views that result in emotional turmoil.

If one of them manages to exercise restraint over their intense emotional reactions and tries to paraphrase what the other shares, it could change the whole dynamic of the conversation.

What is the role of paraphrasing in listening?

As we discussed throughout this article, paraphrasing is one of the critical aspects of active listening.

It’s what turns a passive individual who listens only to have something to say when it’s his/her turn to speak into an active listener who understands and resonates on an emotional level.

Furthermore, paraphrasing is a means by which we provide valuable feedback on the topic of discussion, keeping the conversation alive.

It is also the tool that allows therapists to build safe spaces where clients feel comfortable enough to unburden their souls by sharing painful experiences and gaining clarity.

To sum up, paraphrasing in counseling is a vital micro skill that creates an authentic connection, providing clients with the opportunity to experience a sense of understanding.

Knowing there is someone who resonates with your emotional struggles makes your problems seem less burdensome.

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Reflecting and Paraphrasing

Part of the ‘art of listening’ is making sure that the client knows their story is being listened to.

This is achieved by the helper/counsellor repeating back to the client parts of their story. This known as paraphrasing .

Reflecting is showing the client that you have ‘heard’ not only what is being said, but also what feelings and emotions the client is experiencing when sharing their story with you .

This is sometimes known in counselling ‘speak ‘as the music behind the words .

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It is like holding up a mirror to the client; repeating what they have said shows the client they have your full attention. It also allows the client to make sure you fully understood them; if not, they can correct you.

Reflecting and paraphrasing should not only contain what is being said but what emotion or feeling the client is expressing.

Let’s look at an example:

Client (Mohammed): My ex-wife phoned me yesterday; she told me that our daughter Nafiza (who is only 9) is very ill after a car accident. I am feeling very scared for her. They live in France, so I am going to have to travel to see her, and now I have been made redundant, I don’t know how I can afford to go.

Counsellor: So, Mohammed, you have had some bad news about your little girl, who has been involved in an accident. You are frightened for her and also have worries over money now you have lost your job.

Client: Yes, yes ... that’s right.

Notice that the counsellor does not offer advice or start asking how long Mohammed and his wife have been separated, but reflects the emotion of what is said : ‘frightened' and 'worries'.

Reflecting and paraphrasing are the first skills we learn as helpers, and they remain the most useful.

To build a trusting relationship with a helper, the client needs not only to be ‘listened to' but also to be heard and valued as a person.

"Reflecting and paraphrasing should not only contain what is being said but what emotion or feeling the client is expressing."

Definition of Reflection in Counselling

Reflection in counselling is like holding up a mirror: repeating the client’s words back to them exactly as they said them.

You might reflect back the whole sentence, or you might select a few words – or even one single word – from what the client has brought.

I often refer to reflection as ‘the lost skill’ because when I watch counselling students doing simulated skill sessions, or listen to their recordings from placement (where clients have consented to this), I seldom see reflection being used as a skill. This is a pity, as reflection can be very powerful.

When we use the skill of reflection, we are looking to match the tone, the feeling of the words, and the client’s facial expression or body language as they spoke .

For example, they might have hunched their shoulders as they said, ‘I was so scared; I didn’t know what to do.’

We might reflect that back by hunching our own shoulders, mirroring their body language while also saying ‘I felt so scared; I didn’t know what to do.’

Using Reflection to Clarify Our Understanding

We can also use reflection to clarify our understanding, instead of using a question.

For example, suppose the client says:

‘My husband and my father are fighting. I’m really angry with him.’

For me to be in the client’s frame of reference, I need to know whether ‘him’ refers to the husband or the father. So I might reflect back the word ‘ him ’  with a quizzical look.

The client might then respond:

‘Yeah, my dad. He really gets to me when he is non-accepting.’

So you can get clarification in this way. You can adjust where you are to make sure that the empathic bond is strong and that you are truly within the client’s frame of reference.

"When we use the skill of reflection, we are looking to match the tone, the feeling of the words, and the client’s facial expression or body language as they spoke".

Definition of Paraphrasing in Counselling

Paraphrasing is repeating back your understanding of the material that has been brought by the client, using your own words.

A paraphrase reflects the essence of what has been said .

We all use paraphrasing in our everyday lives. If you look at your studies to become a counsellor or psychotherapist, you paraphrase in class.

Maybe your lecturer brings a body of work, and you listen and make notes: you’re paraphrasing as you distill this down to what you feel is important.

How Paraphrasing Builds Empathy

How does paraphrasing affect the client-counsellor relationship?

First of all, it helps the client to feel both heard and understood. The client brings their material, daring to share that with you.

And you show that you’re listening by giving them a little portion of that back – the part that feels the most important. You paraphrase it down.

And if you do that accurately and correctly, and it matches where the client is, the client is going to recognise that and to feel heard: ‘ Finally, somebody is there really listening, really understanding what it is that I am bringing.’

This keys right into empathy, because it’s about building that empathic relationship with the client. And empathy is not a one-way transaction .

..."Empathy [is] the ability to ‘perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto as if one were the person, but without ever losing the 'as if' conditions." Carl Rogers (1959, pp. 210–211)

In other words, we walk in somebody’s shoes as if their reality is our reality – but of course it’s not our reality, and that’s where the ‘as if’ comes in.

I’ve heard this rather aptly described as ‘walking in the client’s shoes, but keeping our socks on’!

Empathy is a two-way transaction – that is, it’s not enough for us to be 100% in the client’s frame of reference , understanding their true feelings; the client must also perceive that we understand .

When the client feels at some level that they have been understood, then the empathy circle is complete.

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Encouragers, Paraphrasing and Summarising

A counsellor can encourage a client to continue to talk, open up more freely and explore issues in greater depth by providing accurate responses through encouraging, paraphrasing and summarising. Responding in this way informs the client that the counsellor has accurately heard what they have been saying. Encouragers, paraphrases and summaries are basic to helping a client feel understood.

Encouragers, also known as intentional listening , involve fully attending to the client, thus allowing them to explore their feelings and thoughts more completely. Paraphrasing and summarising are more active ways of communicating to the client that they have been listened to. Summarising is particularly useful to help clients organise their thinking.

The diagram below shows how encouragers, paraphrases and summaries are on different points of a continuum, each building on more of the information provided by the client to accurately assess issues and events.

Encouragers – Encouragers are a variety of verbal and non-verbal ways of prompting clients to continue talking.

Types of encouragers include:

• Non-verbal minimal responses such as a nod of the head or positive facial expressions
• Verbal minimal responses such as “Uh-huh” and “I hear what you’re saying”
• Brief invitations to continue such as “Tell me more”

Encouragers simply encourage the client to keep talking. For a counsellor to have more influence on the direction of client progress they would need to make use of other techniques.

Paraphrases – To paraphrase, the counsellor chooses the most important details of what the client has just said and reflects them back to the client. Paraphrases can be just a few words or one or two brief sentences.

Paraphrasing is not a matter of simply repeating or parroting what the client has stated. Rather it is capturing the essence of what the client is saying, through rephrasing. When the counsellor has captured what the client is saying, often the client will say, “That’s right” or offer some other form of confirmation.

Example: I have just broken up with Jason. The way he was treating me was just too much to bear. Every time I tried to touch on the subject with him he would just clam up. I feel so much better now. Paraphrase: You feel much better after breaking up with Jason.

Summaries – Summaries are brief statements of longer excerpts from the counselling session. In summarising, the counsellor attends to verbal and non-verbal comments from the client over a period of time, and then pulls together key parts of the extended communication, restating them for the client as accurately as possible.

A check-out, phrased at the end of the summary, is an important component of the statement, enabling a check of the accuracy of the counsellor’s response. Summaries are similar to paraphrasing, except they are used less frequently and encompass more information.

• July 21, 2009
• Communication , Counselling Process , Encouraging , Microskills , Paraphrasing
• Counselling Theory & Process

Comments: 23

Yeah,must say i like the simple way these basic counselling skills are explained in this article. More of same would be most welcome as it helps give a better understanding of the counselling process and the methods and techniques used within the counselling arena

I really find this information helpful as a refresher in my studies and work. Please keep up the excellent work of ‘educating’ us on being a better counsellor. Thank you!

Wonderfully helpful posting. Many thanks!

Thankyou so much. I am doing a assignment at uni about scitzophrenia and needed to clarify what paraphrasing truly meant. Cheers

So helpful to me as a counselor.

Thankx so much for these post. I’m doing Counselling and Community Services and I need to clarify what summarising and paraphrasing really meant. Once again thank you, this information it’s really helpful

Hello Antoinette friend and doing guidance and counselling need uo help about this question With relevent examples explain the following concepts as used in communicating to clients. (I;listening to verbal messages and using encouraged minimal prompts. 2)making use of non verbal communication and exhibiting attending behaviours using Gerald Eganis macro skill SOLER/ROLES. 3.paraphrasing 4.identifying and reflecting feelings and emotions from the clients story 5.summarizing 6.confrotation 7.counsellor self disclosure 8.asking open and close open ended concept 9.answering questions 10.clarifying

thanks I am doing a counselling community services at careers Australia

Really love the explanations given to the active listening techniques it was really useful and helpful good work done.

Helpful. Thanks!

I really like hw u explain everything in to simple terms for my understanding.

Hai ,thanks for being here .Am a student social worker,i need help an an able to listen to get the implied massages from the client.and to bring questions to explore with them .I love to do this work .What shall I do.how do i train my self in listening.

really appreciate.

You explanation of these three basic intentional listening are very helpful. Thank you for remained us.

very helpful indeed in making the client more open and exploring the issues more deeply

Very important cues.thanks

the article was helpful .thank you for explaining it in more clear and simple words.appreciate it alot .

I need to write about what counselling words mean ie I understand summarising and paraphrasing any more would be useful as I’m near the end of my course

I have a role play exam tomorrow on counselling and find above explanation very useful. thanks for sharing.

This explanation is clear and precise. Very easy to understanding than the expensive textbook. Please keep posting as this helps a lot. Thanks and God bless.

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One of the simple and memorable descriptions of this I’ve read, thanks so much!

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Paraphrasing in Therapeutic Communication

Ai generator.

Unlock profound connections with Paraphrasing in Therapeutic Communication. This comprehensive guide delves into the art of rephrasing, empowering you with effective communication examples. Elevate your interactions with therapeutic finesse, understanding the pivotal role of paraphrasing in fostering genuine connections. Gain valuable insights and masterful techniques to enhance your therapeutic skills. Dive into a world where words create bridges, not barriers. Communication examples illuminate the transformative power of paraphrasing in forging meaningful connections.

What is Paraphrasing in Therapeutic Communication?

Paraphrasing is a communication technique where a listener rephrases or rearticulates the speaker’s words. In therapeutic communication, this skill is employed to convey understanding, validate emotions, and promote a deeper connection. It involves capturing the essence of the speaker’s message while using one’s words, fostering trust, and facilitating meaningful dialogue. By mastering this technique, practitioners enhance empathy, ensuring clients feel heard and valued in the therapeutic process.

20 Paraphrasing in Therapeutic Communication Examples

Paraphrasing in therapeutic communication involves skillfully rephrasing a speaker’s words to convey empathy and understanding. This technique fosters a deeper connection and validates the speaker’s feelings, contributing to a supportive therapeutic environment.

• Client’s Anxiety: “You seem anxious about the upcoming session. Let’s explore your concerns together.”
• Child’s Frustration: “It looks like you’re frustrated with homework. Tell me more about what’s challenging.”
• Patient’s Grief: “Expressing sadness about the loss. I hear you. Share more about your feelings.”
• Co-worker’s Stress: “Noticing stress at work. Can you elaborate on specific stressors you’re facing?”
• Teenager’s Rebellion: “Rebelling against rules. Help me understand what you find restrictive.”
• Friend’s Confusion: “Detecting confusion. Let’s clarify any points causing uncertainty in our discussion.”
• Spouse’s Disappointment: “Your disappointment is apparent. Share more about what didn’t meet your expectations.”
• Patient’s Joy: “Expressing joy after progress. Celebrate this achievement and share more about it.”
• Client’s Ambivalence: “Mixed feelings detected. Let’s explore your conflicting thoughts and emotions.”
• Colleague’s Success: “Noticing success in your project. Congrats! Share more about your key strategies.”
• Child’s Fear: “Detecting fear during our activity. Let’s address and work through these fears together.”
• Friend’s Isolation: “Your isolation is noticeable. Is there something you’d like to discuss or share?”
• Employee’s Burnout: “Signs of burnout are evident. Let’s strategize ways to manage and alleviate stress.”
• Teenager’s Hesitation: “Hesitation detected in your response. What reservations or concerns do you have?”
• Patient’s Uncertainty: “Noticing uncertainty about treatment. Share your concerns and let’s address them.”
• Sibling’s Resentment: “Your resentment is apparent. Let’s explore the roots and work towards resolution.”
• Client’s Resistance: “Detecting resistance in our conversation. Can we discuss the source of discomfort?”
• Co-worker’s Elation: “Elation detected in your demeanor. Share the positive news; I’m here to listen.”
• Friend’s Guilt: “Detecting guilt in your expression. Let’s talk about what’s weighing on your conscience.”
• Teenager’s Defiance: “Defiance observed. Help me understand the reasons behind your opposition.”

Paraphrasing in Therapeutic Communication Examples for Nursing Students

Paraphrasing in therapeutic communication is vital for nursing students to enhance patient interactions. It involves restating patients’ concerns in a supportive manner, promoting empathy and understanding within the healthcare context.

• Patient’s Pain Disclosure: “You’re expressing discomfort. Can you share more about the type and intensity of the pain?”
• Family’s Concerns: “Your family seems worried. What specific concerns do they have about the treatment plan?”
• Patient’s Anxiety: “I sense anxiety. Help me understand the triggers so we can work towards a calming approach.”
• Concerns about Medication: “You have reservations about medication. What aspects make you hesitant or uncertain?”
• Patient’s Emotional Expression: “Your emotions are evident. Let’s explore what’s behind this emotional response.”

Paraphrasing in Therapeutic Communication Example for Patients

Patients benefit from paraphrasing in therapeutic communication as it ensures their feelings are accurately interpreted, fostering trust and collaboration with healthcare providers.

• Acknowledging Fear: “I see fear in your expression. Can we discuss specific fears or concerns about the procedure?”
• Understanding Discomfort: “You seem uncomfortable. Share more about the discomfort so we can address it effectively.”
• Expressing Uncertainty: “Detecting uncertainty. What information or details would help clarify your understanding?”
• Sharing Symptoms: “You’ve mentioned symptoms. Let’s delve deeper into each symptom for a comprehensive understanding.”
• Concerns about Treatment: “Noticing concerns about the treatment plan. What aspects are causing hesitation or worry?”

Why Paraphrasing in Therapeutic Communication is Important for Healthcare?

Paraphrasing plays a crucial role in therapeutic communication within healthcare settings. Here’s why it’s paramount:

• Enhances Understanding: Paraphrasing ensures healthcare providers accurately comprehend patients’ concerns, fostering better understanding.
• Builds Trust: It establishes trust between healthcare professionals and patients by demonstrating active listening and empathy.
• Promotes Patient-Centered Care: By paraphrasing, healthcare providers prioritize patients’ perspectives, contributing to more personalized and effective care.
• Clarifies Information: Paraphrasing helps in clarifying medical information, ensuring patients grasp treatment plans, diagnoses, and instructions accurately.
• Encourages Open Communication: Patients feel more encouraged to share their thoughts and emotions when healthcare providers paraphrase, promoting open dialogue.

What is the Technique for Paraphrasing in Therapeutic Communication?

Mastering the technique of paraphrasing in therapeutic communication involves specific strategies:

• Active Listening: Engage in active listening to grasp the essence of what the patient is expressing.
• Use Empathetic Language: Choose words that convey empathy, understanding, and validation.
• Rephrase with Sensitivity: Paraphrase the patient’s statements with sensitivity, maintaining the emotional tone.
• Seek Confirmation: After paraphrasing, seek confirmation from the patient to ensure accuracy and alignment with their feelings.
• Avoid Distorted Interpretation: Be cautious not to distort the meaning of the patient’s message while paraphrasing, aiming for an accurate representation.
• Adapt to Patient’s Communication Style: Tailor paraphrasing to align with the patient’s communication style and preferences.
• Encourage Further Expression: Paraphrasing should invite patients to elaborate on their feelings or concerns, facilitating deeper communication.
• Offer Validation: Conclude the paraphrase by validating the patient’s emotions or experiences, reinforcing a supportive therapeutic environment.

Tips for Effective Paraphrasing in Therapeutic Communications

• Active Listening: Pay close attention to patients’ verbal and nonverbal cues to understand their message fully.
• Use Open-Ended Questions: Encourage patients to share more details, allowing for a comprehensive paraphrasing response.
• Reflect Emotions: Paraphrase not only the content but also the emotional tone, showing empathy and understanding.
• Avoid Jargon: Use simple and clear language, avoiding medical jargon to ensure patients comprehend the paraphrased information.
• Check for Accuracy: Confirm with patients if the paraphrased statement accurately reflects their thoughts and feelings.
• Respectful Tone: Maintain a respectful and non-judgmental tone while paraphrasing to create a supportive environment.
• Offer Validation: Acknowledge patients’ experiences and feelings through paraphrasing to make them feel heard and validated.

In conclusion, mastering the skill of paraphrasing is pivotal in therapeutic communication, especially within healthcare. This guide explored its significance, techniques, and real-life examples. By fostering understanding, trust, and patient-centered care, effective paraphrasing becomes a cornerstone for building meaningful connections between healthcare providers and patients, ultimately enhancing the overall healthcare experience.

Text prompt

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10 Paraphrasing in Therapeutic Communication Example for Patients

10 Paraphrasing in Therapeutic Communication Examples for Nursing Students

Paraphrasing

What is Paraphrasing?

Paraphrasing is repeating back your understanding of the material that has been brought by the client in your own words. A paraphrase reflects the essence of what has been said.

We all use paraphrasing in our everyday lives. If you look at your studies to become a counsellor or psychotherapist, you paraphrase in class. Maybe your lecturer brings a body of work, and you list and make notes: you’re paraphrasing as you distil this down to what you feel is important.

The Power of Paraphrasing:

• The speaker feels heard.
• Helps the listener to adjust frame of reference.
• Highlights areas of high importance.
• Acts as an invite to explore deeper.
• Can indicate an end to the current discussion.

How Paraphrasing Builds Empathy

How does paraphrasing affect the client-counsellor relationship? First of all, it helps the client to feel both heard and understood. The client brings their material, daring to share that with you, and you show that you’re listening by giving them a little portion of that back – the part that feels the most important. You paraphrase it down. If you do that accurately and correctly, and it matches where the client is, the client is going to recognise that and feel heard: ‘Finally, somebody is really listening, really understanding what it is that I am bringing.’

This keys right into empathy, because it’s about building that empathic relationship with the client – and empathy is not a one-way transaction. Carl Rogers (1959, pp. 210-211) defines ‘empathy’ as the ability to ‘perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto as if one were the person, but without ever losing the “as if” conditions’. In other words, we walk in somebody’s shoes as if their reality is our own – but of course it’s not our reality, and that’s where the ‘as if’ comes in. I’ve heard this rather aptly described as ‘walking in the client’s shoes, but keeping our socks on’!

Empathy is a two-way transaction – it’s not enough for us to be 100% in the client’s frame of reference and understanding their true feelings; the client must also perceive that we understand. When the client feels at some level that they have been understood, then the empathy circle is complete.

For example, if you watch a TV programme in which somebody achieves something that is really spectacular, you may find yourself moved for this person. You’re almost there with them on this journey, and as they’re receiving their award or their adulation, and the audience is clapping for what they’ve done, you may even be moved to tears. But the person on the TV cannot perceive your reaction – the empathy is empty, because it’s one-way.

So empathy is effective only if your client feels heard and understood – i.e. they sense that empathic connection. Using paraphrasing is a way of completing the empathy circle – a way of letting them know that we see and hear them.

Other Benefits of Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing also highlights issues by stating them more concisely. This is focusing down: it invites the client to go and delve deeper into part of what they have said. We can also use paraphrasing to check out the accuracy of our perception as a counsellor.

Below is an example of my use of paraphrasing to clarify my understanding of what was brought. This shows how paraphrasing affects the therapeutic relationship; because the paraphrase fits well for the client, she feels heard and understood. As this happens, the material deepens.

I really have a battle with doing things for the impression that others will have of me, or the approval that I will get from other people for what it is that I do. So much so that I will very often override myself, my family, so that I can gain the acceptance, I guess, of other people, whether friends, family or clients in a work situation. I will always favour what the action would be that would gain that acceptance, that would not bring up any sort of confrontation or maybe have a conflict situation arise from it.

So, I guess, I’m eager to please, wanting to make sure that all things are well and smooth – and that I’m liked and accepted with whatever the transaction or situation may be.

Counsellor:

As you’re saying that, it really feels like a lot of hard work. A lot of hard work, pre-empting whatever it is that they would have expected of you, and then ‘sacrificing’, I guess, is a word that came up for me – sacrificing your own wants/needs to be able to meet what you perceive is expected of you. Have I understood that correctly?

Yeah, the word ‘sacrifice’ really captures the feeling that comes up for me when I sort of reflect and look over that kind of situation. So often, I will sacrifice my own wants and my own desires…

In this example, the client really resonated with the word ‘sacrifice’, which the counsellor introduced as a paraphrase; she really felt understood. And it’s interesting to note that throughout the rest of this stimulated session, the word ‘sacrifice’ became almost a theme.

Another paraphrase in this example was ‘hard work’. Although the client hadn’t used this phrase herself, she was presenting visually as weighed down. Her shoulders looked heavy as she was bringing the material. So the counsellor was paraphrasing, not only the words of the narrative, but digging deeper, looking for the feelings and paraphrasing the whole presence of that client within that relationship.

Listening for ‘the Music behind the Words’

Here is another example of paraphrasing, from the same skills session. Try to see if you can hear, as Rogers would put it, ‘the music behind the words’, where the counsellor looks deeper than just the words the client is bringing, paraphrasing back their whole being.

Out of my own will or my own free choice, I would put that aside and favour what would be accepted – or what I think someone else would rather I do. And sometimes it’s hard. It leaves me with a situation of not knowing if they actually really realise what it is that I sacrificed, that I’ve given up, so that it can fall into what I think they would prefer in that situation.

It feels confusing to you in that situation of whether they even perceive what it is that you are sacrificing, what you’re giving up. That it almost feels like you’re giving up part of yourself to match what you think they may want or need from you. And I kind of got the feeling, as you were saying that you wonder if they even see that.

Yeah. As I was sort of verbalizing and talking through that, I actually realised that even within that sacrifice, it’s all my perception of what I think they might want me to do. And just saying that is actually a bit ridiculous. Because how am I to know what it is that they want or need to do? So here I am – disregarding my own desires, for lack of a better word – to do something I assume someone else would want me to do instead.

I thought it was really interesting that this client started off in what felt to me like an external locus of evaluation. She was confused, and wondering whether the people she refers to understood what she was giving up to meet their perceived expectations. Immediately after the counsellor’s paraphrase, this client experienced a moment of movement from an external to an internal locus of evaluation, where she realised it was all about her own perceptions and responsibility. In this way, she went from being powerless to having the power to change this situation.

Next Steps in Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing is so much more than just repeating the client’s words back to them using your own words. Although it might feel very simplistic – and there’s often a tendency to paraphrase the narrative/story that the client brings, rather than their feelings/process – there’s so much more to it than that and so much deeper that we can go. There’s real power in paraphrasing.

I suggest that you:

• Practice active listening and paraphrasing in your day-to-day life.
• Practice paraphrasing in your own stimulated skills sessions.
• Try to look for the full person when paraphrasing, e.g. not just the client’s words, but also their body language, facial expressions, and way of being within the counselling relationship.
• Record these sessions (with your peer’s consent) and listen back to them.
• Speak to your peers about paraphrasing.
• Evaluate each other’s skills and explore how you might paraphrase more effectively.
• Look whether you’re getting empathic connection within your paraphrasing.
• Search out moments of movement when you paraphrase.
• Ask how paraphrasing affects both the client and you, as a counsellor.

Paraphrasing is definitely something that should be debated. I hope that this chapter will encourage you to go out there with a new passion for – and a new way of looking at – paraphrasing!

Alternatives to Questions

What else can we use when we’re not sure what exactly a client means? For example, if a client was speaking about his brother and father, he might say: ‘I really struggle with my brother and my father. They don’t get on, and at times he makes me so angry.’ Who does the client mean by ‘he’: the brother or the father? Not knowing who makes him angry means I cannot be fully within the client’s frame of reference.

I could ask: ‘Sorry, just so I can understand, who it is that you’re angry at – your father or your brother?’ This risks ripping the client out of that emotion (the anger). Instead, we could use reflection: ‘He makes you so angry.’ This invites the client to expand on what he has said. He might say: ‘Yes, ever since I was a young boy, my dad was always…’ In this case, I didn’t need to ask a question – we’re still in the feelings, and I’ve got what I needed in order to be fully in the client’s frame of reference.

Of course, the client might not reveal the information I need in his answer – for example, if he responded to my reflection: ‘He does. He makes me really angry – in fact, so angry that I don’t know what to do about it anymore.’ In that case, I would still need to put in a question: ‘Is this your dad or your brother that you’re referring to?’

Rogers, C, 1959. ‘A Theory of Therapy, Personallity, and Interpersonal Relations, as Developed in the Client-Centered Framework’, in S Koch (ed.),  Psychology: A Study of a Science  (Vol.3), New York: McGraw-Hill, 184-256.

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Paraphrasing in Therapy: Enhancing Communication and Empathy

In the therapeutic dance of words and emotions, paraphrasing emerges as a powerful tool, weaving together the threads of understanding, empathy, and transformative communication. It’s a skill that, when mastered, can turn the tides of a therapy session, creating waves of insight and connection that ripple through the client’s journey of self-discovery. But what exactly is paraphrasing in therapy, and why does it hold such a revered place in the therapist’s toolkit?

At its core, paraphrasing in therapy is the art of restating a client’s words or ideas in a different way, while maintaining the essence of their message. It’s like holding up a mirror to the client’s thoughts, but one that reflects not just the surface, but the depths beneath. This seemingly simple act serves as a cornerstone of therapeutic communication, bridging the gap between what is said and what is understood.

The beauty of paraphrasing lies in its versatility. It can clarify complex emotions, validate experiences, and even gently challenge perceptions. As we delve deeper into this topic, we’ll explore how paraphrasing can transform therapy sessions, enhance empathy, and create a space where healing and growth flourish.

The Fundamentals of Paraphrasing in Therapy: More Than Just Echoing Words

To truly grasp the power of paraphrasing, we need to dissect its components. Effective paraphrasing isn’t just about repeating what the client said in different words. It’s an intricate dance of listening, processing, and responding in a way that adds value to the conversation.

First and foremost, paraphrasing requires active listening. This means not just hearing the words, but tuning into the emotions, the unspoken messages, and the subtle nuances in tone and body language. It’s about being fully present with the client, absorbing their story with all your senses.

Once you’ve truly listened, the next step is to distill the essence of what was said. This involves identifying the core message, the underlying emotions, and the key points that seem most significant to the client. It’s like being a detective, piecing together clues to form a coherent picture.

The final step is to reflect this understanding back to the client in a way that is clear, concise, and empathetic. This is where the art of paraphrasing truly shines. It’s not about using fancy words or psychological jargon. Instead, it’s about finding simple, relatable language that captures the heart of what the client is expressing.

But how does paraphrasing differ from other therapeutic techniques? While Mirroring in Therapy: Enhancing Empathy and Connection in Therapeutic Relationships involves mimicking the client’s body language and tone, paraphrasing focuses on the content of their speech. It’s less about matching their external expression and more about reflecting their internal world.

Similarly, while summarizing condenses information into key points, paraphrasing aims to maintain the full richness of the client’s expression. It’s not about reducing their words, but about expanding understanding.

The psychological basis for paraphrasing’s effectiveness lies in its ability to create a sense of being truly heard and understood. When a therapist accurately paraphrases a client’s thoughts or feelings, it validates their experience and creates a strong sense of empathy. This, in turn, fosters trust and openness, paving the way for deeper exploration and healing.

The Myriad Benefits of Paraphrasing: Building Bridges of Understanding

Now that we’ve laid the groundwork, let’s explore the treasure trove of benefits that paraphrasing brings to the therapeutic relationship. It’s like a Swiss Army knife in the therapist’s toolbox, serving multiple crucial functions.

First and foremost, paraphrasing is a master key to building rapport and trust. When a client hears their thoughts reflected back accurately, it creates an immediate sense of being understood. This understanding forms the bedrock of a strong therapeutic alliance, crucial for effective therapy.

Imagine you’re the client, pouring out your heart about a difficult situation. Your therapist listens intently, then says, “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed and unsupported in this situation. The pressure to perform at work, combined with family responsibilities, is leaving you feeling stretched thin and unappreciated.” Wouldn’t you feel a sense of relief and connection, knowing that your therapist truly gets it?

Beyond building rapport, paraphrasing serves as a powerful tool for improving clarity and understanding. Often, clients come to therapy with a jumble of thoughts and emotions. By paraphrasing, therapists can help organize these thoughts, making them more tangible and manageable. It’s like untangling a knotted necklace – suddenly, the individual strands become clear and distinct.

But perhaps one of the most profound benefits of paraphrasing is its ability to facilitate emotional validation and empathy. When a therapist accurately reflects a client’s emotions, it sends a powerful message: “I see you. I hear you. Your feelings are valid.” This validation can be incredibly healing, especially for clients who have felt dismissed or misunderstood in their lives.

Supportive Reflection in Therapy: Enhancing Client Growth and Self-Understanding is closely related to paraphrasing, but takes it a step further by adding a supportive element to the reflection. Both techniques work hand in hand to create a nurturing environment for client growth.

Lastly, paraphrasing encourages deeper self-reflection in clients. When clients hear their thoughts and feelings reflected back, it often sparks new insights. They might realize, “Wow, I didn’t know I felt so strongly about that,” or “I never saw the connection between those two issues before.” This self-discovery is the fertile soil from which personal growth and change can sprout.

Mastering the Art: Techniques for Effective Paraphrasing

Now that we’ve explored the ‘why’ of paraphrasing, let’s dive into the ‘how’. Mastering the art of paraphrasing is like learning to play a musical instrument – it requires practice, sensitivity, and a good ear.

The foundation of effective paraphrasing is active listening. This means giving your full attention to the client, not just waiting for your turn to speak. It involves listening not just to the words, but to the tone, the pauses, the things left unsaid. It’s about being fully present in the moment, attuned to the client’s every nuance.

But active listening isn’t just about the ears. It’s also about the eyes and the body. Your non-verbal cues play a crucial role in communicating your attention and understanding. Maintaining appropriate eye contact, nodding at key points, and leaning in slightly can all convey your engagement and empathy.

When it comes to the actual paraphrasing, accuracy is key. The goal is to capture not just the content of what the client said, but the underlying emotions and meanings. This requires a delicate balance of mirroring the client’s language while also offering new perspectives or connections.

For example, if a client says, “I just can’t seem to get anything right at work. My boss is always criticizing me, and I feel like I’m walking on eggshells,” you might paraphrase it as, “It sounds like you’re feeling really discouraged and anxious at work. The constant criticism from your boss is making you feel insecure and on edge.”

This paraphrase captures both the content (problems at work, criticism from the boss) and the emotions (discouragement, anxiety, insecurity) while also offering a slight reframe that might help the client see their situation more clearly.

It’s also important to strike a balance between repetition and rephrasing. While you want to use some of the client’s own words to show you’ve been listening, you also want to offer new language or perspectives that might help them see their situation in a different light.

Navigating the Choppy Waters: Challenges in Therapeutic Paraphrasing

Like any powerful tool, paraphrasing comes with its own set of challenges and potential pitfalls. Being aware of these can help therapists navigate the sometimes choppy waters of therapeutic communication.

One of the most common challenges is the risk of misinterpreting client statements. It’s easy to project our own assumptions or experiences onto what the client is saying, leading to inaccurate paraphrasing. This is why it’s crucial to always check in with the client after paraphrasing, asking something like, “Have I understood you correctly?”

Another potential pitfall is over-reliance on paraphrasing at the expense of other therapeutic techniques. While paraphrasing is incredibly useful, it shouldn’t be the only tool in your therapeutic toolkit. Balancing paraphrasing with other interventions, such as asking open-ended questions or offering interpretations, can create a more dynamic and effective therapy session.

Cultural considerations also play a significant role in effective paraphrasing. Words, phrases, and even emotional expressions can have different meanings in different cultures. For therapists working with clients from diverse backgrounds, it’s crucial to be aware of these differences and to approach paraphrasing with cultural humility and curiosity.

Broaching in Therapy: Enhancing Cultural Competence and Client Trust is a valuable technique that can complement paraphrasing when working with clients from diverse backgrounds. It involves directly addressing cultural differences and their potential impact on the therapeutic relationship.

Maintaining professional boundaries while paraphrasing can also be challenging. The intimacy created by accurate paraphrasing can sometimes blur the lines of the therapeutic relationship. It’s important for therapists to remain aware of these boundaries, ensuring that empathy doesn’t slide into over-identification or inappropriate self-disclosure.

Paraphrasing Across Therapeutic Approaches: A Universal Tool

One of the beautiful things about paraphrasing is its versatility. It’s not tied to any single therapeutic approach but can be integrated effectively into various modalities.

In cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), for instance, paraphrasing can be used to help clients identify and challenge negative thought patterns. A therapist might paraphrase a client’s automatic negative thoughts, helping to bring them into sharper focus for examination and restructuring.

In psychodynamic approaches, paraphrasing can be a powerful tool for exploring unconscious patterns and defenses. By carefully reflecting back the client’s words, the therapist can help bring hidden meanings or conflicts to the surface.

Solution-focused therapy can also benefit from skilled paraphrasing. Here, the therapist might use paraphrasing to highlight exceptions to the problem or to reframe issues in a more solution-oriented way.

Even in group therapy settings, paraphrasing plays a crucial role. It can help clarify communication between group members, model effective listening skills, and create a sense of shared understanding within the group.

Therapeutic Communication for Schizophrenia: Effective Strategies for Support and Recovery often relies heavily on paraphrasing to ensure clear communication and understanding. This is particularly important when working with clients who may have disordered thought processes or difficulty expressing themselves clearly.

Beyond Words: The Non-Verbal Dimension of Paraphrasing

While we’ve focused primarily on the verbal aspects of paraphrasing, it’s important to remember that communication is about much more than just words. Non-Verbal Therapy Techniques: Powerful Tools for Effective Communication in Counseling can significantly enhance the impact of paraphrasing.

Your tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language all play a crucial role in how your paraphrasing is received. A gentle tone can convey empathy, while a slight lean forward can show engagement. Even a thoughtful pause before responding can communicate that you’re really considering the client’s words.

Moreover, being attuned to the client’s non-verbal cues can greatly inform your paraphrasing. If a client says they’re “fine” but their body language suggests otherwise, your paraphrasing might reflect this discrepancy, gently bringing it into the conversation.

The Paradox of Paraphrasing: When Less is More

Interestingly, effective paraphrasing sometimes involves saying less rather than more. This concept aligns with the principles of Paradoxical Therapy: Unconventional Approach to Mental Health Treatment , where seemingly contradictory interventions can lead to positive outcomes.

In paraphrasing, sometimes a simple, concise reflection can be more powerful than a lengthy restatement. For example, if a client shares a long, emotional story about a conflict with a family member, a brief paraphrase like “You felt deeply hurt and misunderstood” might capture the essence more effectively than a detailed recap.

This “less is more” approach can create space for the client to elaborate further or to sit with their emotions, potentially leading to deeper insights.

The Language of Therapy: Decoding Paraphrasing

As we delve deeper into the world of paraphrasing, it’s worth noting that it has its own unique language. Therapy Sayings: Decoding Common Phrases and Jargon in Mental Health and Therapy Buzzwords: Decoding the Language of Mental Health can provide valuable insights into the specific phrases and terms often used in therapeutic paraphrasing.

Understanding this language can help both therapists and clients navigate the paraphrasing process more effectively. For therapists, it can provide a repertoire of useful phrases to draw from. For clients, understanding these terms can help them engage more fully in the therapeutic process, recognizing when and how paraphrasing is being used.

The Ripple Effect: Paraphrasing and Parallel Process

The impact of effective paraphrasing extends beyond the immediate therapeutic relationship. It can create a ripple effect, influencing how clients communicate in their personal and professional lives.

This relates to the concept of Parallel Process in Therapy: Enhancing Treatment Through Mirrored Relationships . As clients experience being deeply heard and understood through paraphrasing, they may begin to adopt similar listening and reflecting skills in their own relationships.

In this way, the therapeutic use of paraphrasing can have far-reaching effects, potentially improving communication and understanding in the client’s broader life context.

Looking Ahead: The Future of Paraphrasing in Therapy

As we wrap up our exploration of paraphrasing in therapy, it’s worth considering what the future might hold for this fundamental technique. While the basic principles of paraphrasing are likely to remain constant, new research and evolving therapeutic approaches may refine and expand its application.

For instance, advancements in neuroscience might provide deeper insights into how paraphrasing affects the brain, potentially leading to more targeted and effective use of the technique. Similarly, the growing field of teletherapy may present new challenges and opportunities for paraphrasing in virtual settings.

There’s also potential for technology to play a role in helping therapists improve their paraphrasing skills. AI-powered tools could potentially provide real-time feedback on the accuracy and effectiveness of therapists’ paraphrasing, although the human touch will always remain central to the therapeutic process.

In conclusion, paraphrasing stands as a cornerstone of effective therapy, a bridge between minds and hearts that facilitates understanding, promotes healing, and catalyzes change. It’s a skill worth honing, a tool worth sharpening, and a practice worth perfecting. For in the end, therapy is about connection – and paraphrasing, at its best, is connection distilled into its purest form.

As we continue to explore and refine this powerful technique, we open doors to deeper understanding, more effective interventions, and ultimately, more profound healing. The dance of words and emotions continues, and with skillful paraphrasing as our guide, we can navigate its intricate steps with grace and purpose.

References:

1. Rogers, C. R. (1951). Client-centered therapy: Its current practice, implications, and theory. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

2. Ivey, A. E., Ivey, M. B., & Zalaquett, C. P. (2018). Intentional interviewing and counseling: Facilitating client development in a multicultural society (9th ed.). Cengage Learning.

3. Wachtel, P. L. (2011). Therapeutic communication: Knowing what to say when (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

4. Miller, W. R., & Rollnick, S. (2013). Motivational interviewing: Helping people change (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.

5. Sommers-Flanagan, J., & Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2018). Clinical interviewing (6th ed.). John Wiley & Sons.

6. Egan, G. (2013). The skilled helper: A problem-management and opportunity-development approach to helping (10th ed.). Cengage Learning.

7. Teyber, E., & McClure, F. H. (2011). Interpersonal process in therapy: An integrative model (6th ed.). Cengage Learning.

8. Kottler, J. A., & Balkin, R. S. (2017). Relationships in counseling and the counselor’s life. American Counseling Association.

9. Sue, D. W., & Sue, D. (2015). Counseling the culturally diverse: Theory and practice (7th ed.). John Wiley & Sons.

10. Wampold, B. E., & Imel, Z. E. (2015). The great psychotherapy debate: The evidence for what makes psychotherapy work (2nd ed.). Routledge.

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